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You Know You're A Horse-a-holic When….
Good Afternoon. I AM a horse-aholic. I would like to
welcome you to this month's meeting of Horse-aholic
Anonymous. Some of you are here tonight because a friend
or relative brought you. You may be sitting here
thinking that you are OK and don't really need any help.
It is not easy to admit that you are a horse-aholic and
it is even harder to bring yourself to an HA meeting for
help.
HA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask.
If you can answer YES to more than three of the
following, you have come to the right place:
1. Can you say "sheath" in public without blushing?
2. Do you drive a big truck with a towing package when
everyone else drives a real car?
3. Do you have more than one vehicle? One for you and
one for the horses?
4. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, clinics
and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?
5. If you do go overseas, is it to a riding vacation in
Ireland or to Spruce Meadows to watch the Grand Prix?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would
make most doctors leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and
freshly scraped boots?
8. Is your interior decorator the local tack shop?
9. Was your furniture and carpeting chosen with your
horses in mind?
10. Are your end tables really tack trunks with
tablecloths thrown over them?
11. Is your mail made up primarily of horse catalogs
and horse magazines?
12. Do you get up before dawn to ride? Go to horse
shows? Clinics? But do you have trouble getting up for
"work?"
13. If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do
those pockets often contain bits of carrot, hay, or
sweet feed?
14. When you meet a new person do you always ask them
what kind of horse they have and pity them if they don't
have one?
15. Do you remember the name of their horse sooner than
you remember their name?
16. Do you find non-horse people boring?
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still
hope.
If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.
My advice to all of you with three or more YES's is to
sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to
you, and know that your life will always be filled with
good friends and good horses and it will never be
boring.
..... Addicted to horses? You're not alone |